Since killing Linux is so popular, this is how it needs to be done. Anything can be done with a tutorial

Sep 14, 2015 08:07 GMT  ·  By

The death of Linux has been proclaimed many times, and that's something that will probably go on for quite some time. The problem is that Windows either can't kill the Linux desktop or Microsoft is not doing its job properly. So, here is a short tutorial for Microsoft that will help it get rid of that pesky Linux, once and for all.

Before we get to the killing part, we first need to understand a few things. First of all, Linux is not an entity, so Microsoft can't solve the problem by buying it. It would be fun to watch, but it's not possible. Secondly, there is no head of Linux per se, so there is no one to negotiate with. Sure, there is Linus Torvalds, but he's not telling people what to do with the kernel, so he's not really in charge.

Linux has been around for a very long time and it's making Windows look bad. When people talk about security or data collection, they immediately point towards Linux and say that none of the open source OSes is having the same problem. These comparisons are definitely hurting Windows sales. So, instead of fixing issues like security, it's a much easier solution to just get rid of Linux altogether. Here is what Microsoft has to do.

Step one

One of the reasons Linux has great success is that it's free and open source. So, the only solution to defeat that is to become the enemy. In this case, Microsoft needs to make Windows free and open source. And no, it's not free now even if Microsoft has managed to convince you of that.

Making Windows completely free and open source would open it up to developers and we could see a swath of security updates and other patches flying in from all over the world.

Step two

There is no way around this one and it needs to be done. The Linux kernel is the biggest collaborative project on the planet, and Microsoft needs to kill it, somehow. Many of the developers working on it are actually employed by other companies, such as Intel, AMD, and so on. The Redmond company might have to force some of these firms to drop the support for Linux. Threatening to stop the official support for their hardware would be a good start and in line with the rest of the policies.

It won't be an easy thing to pull off, but the only way to stop the thousands of developers that are pushing millions of lines of code yearly is to either get them hired or fired.

Step three

This is the hardest part. Microsoft will have to convince all the other freedom-loving developers on Earth that Windows is the right platform and that they need to stop working on Linux stuff. Now that the Linux kernel is pretty much dead, after enforcing the number two step, they will have no other choice but to work for Microsoft, for free, of course, since they seem to like this part.

Summary

In case you haven't already figured it out, this is not meant to be taken seriously. I see all kind of articles, almost on a weekly basis, about how Windows is killing the Linux desktop, how Linux missed its chance with Windows 8, and so on. It's getting tiring. Saying that Linux can be killed and even considering this means that you have no idea of just how big this project really is, not to mention the community around it.

Linux is not trying to beat Windows, it's not trying to kill it, it's not even trying to compete with it. Linux is competing with itself and this is why it's getting better all the time.

Whether Windows will be around when Linux really takes off for the desktop is actually irrelevant.